Who isn’t curious about what men really look for in a woman? I know I am. There are times when I see a couple and I ponder really hard as to what that guy sees in that woman. Not that I think there’s something with the woman, I’m just really curious as to what makes her stand out to the guy.
What is it that guys see that we don’t. According to Samantha Daniels, a dating expert and author of Matchbook, there are eight traits that a man looks for in a woman. In my opinion, these eight traits depict the woman to be the following:
A Positive and Happy Woman
It’s understandable that men want their woman to be oozing with positive and happy energy. I mean, who would want to be dragged down with negative thoughts and energy? Having a nice, genuine smile can really do wonders for our man.
A Caring and Sensitive Woman
I know caring and sensitive sound too broad. But in my opinion, men want a woman to be caring enough to know what’s going on; at the same time, to be sensitive enough to know when to back off.
I’ve seen more than enough couples where the woman seems to know so much more about the guy’s life. For example, she gets too involved with the guy’s job that she makes comments that can somehow be very damaging to the guy. I think there’s really a thin line between caring enough to know what’s going on in a guy’s life and backing off when it’s time.
Is it our mother instinct? I really don’t know!
An Understanding Woman
Again, this is another general trait. How understanding do we have to be? A man wants a woman that’s understanding enough to forgive him; at the same time, understanding enough to forget everything. Hmmmm, that sounds easier said than done.
An Intelligent Woman that Knows When to be Sexy
It’s a fact that men love hot women. But when it comes to their woman, she should know how to be sexy for him and only him.
A Woman that Knows How to Empower her Man
Men want a woman that can make him feel good. Hence, they look for a woman that can address this particular need of theirs to feel smart, good, and awesome. There’s just no doubt that men want to be adored. But here’s the thing, so do women!
A Woman that can Interact on her Own
I think every woman knows this. Men like it when they see that their woman is able to move around and interact on her own. They just don’t like the clingy kind of women.
A Woman that Respects Space
Men need to have their space. They need their regular night-outs with their buddies. Hence, they want a woman that can understand this without making them feel guilty.
A Woman that can Easily Transform Herself
A man wants a woman that can easily transform into the following:
• A hot chick;
• An intelligent partner;
• A lovable and dependable girlfriend/wife; and
• A cute Miss Congeniality to his family and friends.
I must say that those eight traits will definitely make one heck of a woman!
At first you think it’s kinda cool that she’s calling you and spending a lot of time with you. Then gradually you start to notice that she’s telling you everything, as in every single thing like the guy she’s into. Well, that’s not good. Obviously, she’s just not into you. She just thinks of you as a friend.
While being friends is a good start, you’d want to progress it to something more than just that. But how can you get out of it?
Be Generous With Your Touches
While there was the excitement of meeting her and becoming friends, you’d probably wonder how you got stuck in a such place. According to dating author Joshua Pellicer The Tao Of Badass, there are two reasons as to why guys fall into the friend zone. The first reason is that you are not touching her enough. While you have built enough rapport to establish trust and comfort, not touching her enough just doesn’t establish any sexuality between the two of you.
“In order to build that sexuality, you have to break the touch barrier early on and you have to continue to escalate the touch barrier as time goes on.”
Here’s the hint for you guys out there.
“When you first meet a woman, if you aren’t touching her within the first three to five seconds on her shoulder or … on her hand just briefly, just for maybe…two to three seconds you keep your hand on or maybe even less then take your hand off again as you’re touching,, if you’re not doing that constantly as in … at least once a minute when you’re talking, then you are probably headed toward the friend zone.”
The Tao Of Badass ebook says that while the woman is intrigued by you, she’s just not getting the right sign from you.
“We have something called anchors, emotional anchors. These emotional anchors are basically different things that we associate with different emotions. And if you can touch a woman while you’re talking to her then you will anchor the comfort of trust and of connection to any of the intrigue to your touch. So that means that every time you touch her, she’ll feel that same feeling again. And if you don’t do it when you first meet a woman, it won’t happen at all.”
So guys, it’s highly recommended that you increase the amount of touch you give to a woman, most especially during the first meeting. But remember the touch should be a very normal, spontaneous, and casual.
Skipping The Attraction Phase
This is when you try to establish the rapport too early. Take some time to talk to a woman on the first meeting. Let the rapport come in freely, don’t force it. Enjoy the moment.
“What you have to do in the beginning is build that intrigue, build that curiosity which is what attraction truly is.”
Take your time to build the attraction and then establish rapport.
How To Get Out Of the Friend Zone
According to Behavioral Ecology, there are some ways for you to get the woman you’re already friends with to look at you in a different way. Here are the ways.
First, show her that you have some value. This means having her realize that there other women attracted to you. So how can you do that? Don’t ask her out but meet up with her. Invite other female friends to the same place.
“This is crucial. You’re not gonna be flirting with these other girls or anything but they are already gonna know you and they’re going to be having a conversation with you and interacting with you in sort of a regular kind of way.”
This way, your special friend will see that you are giving attention to other female friends of yours. What will happen is that your special friend is gonna want that same attention.
Second, start flirting with her and build the attraction. Use the touch system. Remember, you are trying to get out of the friend zone. Be playful once she has started to show some interest in you.
Third, finally build the rapport. This is the time when you can get into some serious conversation. Show her a part of you that she hasn’t seen before. Intrigue and surprise her.
“Create a new part of you.”
Remember all those vital points to finally get out of the friend zone.
In your desperation to find a date, you might just end up with this kind of guy. This kind of guy could be handsome and irresistible. He could even be the kind of guy that your parents will love. This guy could be perfect, at least for the moment. But the flaws will eventually start to show and if you’re super unlucky, the flaws might just come up sooner than expected.
Who Is This Guy?
This kind of guy is self-centered. At first you may think he’s someone that’s super confident. You are in awe of his success and he just seems to be infallible. And just like any damsel in distress, you think he is your prince charming. Then eventually all the signs start to show. Before you know it, he may just be suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder. Here are the signs to look out for.
He Thinks Everything Is About Him
At first, everything seems to be pretty exciting. You’re finally dating someone that’s smart, successful, and yes, interesting. He is just so interesting that you are so amazed with all his stories (mostly about himself).
Suddenly, you’re part of his world and you can’t seem to grasp the grandeur and even the immensity of it. You are so drawn into his world until you wake up one day and realize that you have lost your own world. He has absorbed every bit of you and at the end, you’re just that someone by his side. Everything has been about him that you’ve lost everything that’s about you.
So how do you spot this kind of guy? Well, if he spends the whole night talking about himself then maybe you shouldn’t look any further than the first date.
He Needs A Spotlight All The Time
This guy loves the spotlight. He looks around and makes sure his presence is felt. At first, this may impress you. After all, he is someone very successful. But eventually, you will just end up as the captain of his cheering squad team, always reinforcing how good he is.
When you do attempt to give him your piece of mind , he will turn to you and say. “What do you know?” You see, this guy cannot take any kind of criticism well. He’s just too good for anybody, including himself. He will only listen to other people if what’s being said about him is positive. That’s just the kind of guy he is. The spotlight should always be on him.
How do you spot this kind of guy? Well, if he’s the kind of guy that’s always checking himself out in the mirror, then maybe you should just have one drink with him.
But seriously, you need to spot this kind of behavior soon and one way to tell is by viewing his Facebook account. You’re not going to be stalking him. You’ll only check out how he handles himself online. Is he yelling out every single accomplishment? Is he bragging online? While those can sound a little too funny, they are pretty much the warning signs that you should seriously take into consideration.
He Finds Mistakes In Others
Now this guy is just too good and perfect that everybody around him is always wrong. He can’t seem to handle the next big idea from somebody else including you. This kind of guy will put everybody (including you!) down so he can look good.
Now, this trait may be hard to spot on the first date. But he if he is treating the people around him like his entourage, then that’s a warning sign. Take a good look at how he treats the bartender and the food servers. If he just can’t seem to be satisfied and finds everything wrong with them, then it’s time to say good night!
He’s More Concerned About What Other People Will Say
Well he loves the spotlight, right? So that pretty much shows how much he needs to be admired by other people. This kind of guy wants and needs approval and admiration from everybody, including you! He is envious of other people’s success. So that means that you cannot be any better than he is.
So how do you spot this kind of guy? Well if he doesn’t show any sign of interest in what you do for a living, then it’s time say good bye!
Remember, it’s better to spot these traits now before it’s too late. This kind of guy suffers from some kind of personality disorder and it’s not your job to save him. So beware of this kind of guy.